Welcome to Booze Life!
There’s a fair chance if you stumbled into our humble website through a search engine you like adult beverages! If that’s the case, you’re in the right place. If you are not at least twenty-one years old, you are not in the right place, please leave.
Booze Life is a website dedicated to the fine tradition of enjoying a drink now and then. Whether it’s spirits, beer, or wine, Booze Life will endeavor to share news, humor, ideas, and great products related to our wonderful national past time.
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Have a picture of you and yours living the Booze Life? Want to see it on our site? We may be able to add it to our website.
E-mail us the picture with a note stating the following:
*Your Full Name
*The Photo(s) Is Of You and Yours,
*All Are At Least 21 Years Old,
*You Are Authorized To Share and Hold the Copyright to the Picture.
If the picture is not totally insane (having sex with a vacuum cleaner would be a good example of insane) we'll try to fit it in!
Email it to theboozeman@myboozeleife.com
Don't suffer from pilsner envy!
When you order a beer, order a #%*! beer!
Boozeman Wisdom
I BREAK FOR EVERYTHING
BECAUSE I JUST AIN'T RIGHT
Public believes TSA regulations could bare improvement
During one of the busiest travel weeks of the year if you want to see a crowd of people, outside of a nudist colony, in the United States go nuts, just tell them they have to get naked in front of a camera. While citizens of many other countries are less critical of themselves and nudity; by nature Americans are a little funny about strutting their stuff in front of strangers.
The ‘Plan B’ to having your prize possessions scanned by a very revealing airport scanner, is to go to ‘second base’ with a TSA worker. In the event you’re not comfortable having a nude negative image of your, or children’s, naked body flashed on a screen in the airport, the TSA somehow feels you’ll be more comfortable having a stranger run their hands up and down you and your junk like it was your wedding night after a long celibate courtship.
That’s the problem the TSA is dealing with now that the new security procedure at many of America’s airports has started. Most Americans can sympathize with the TSA’s burden of keeping air travel safe, but fall short of supporting the TSA’s solution. Another issue over the horizon is the suspicion the scanners can save, or even send, images of scans from the security process. Granted, there are not many people in this world who want to see me naked. Well, okay there’s really none. But that can’t be said for the endless list of celebrities and political figures that Americans strive to know every detail of. These folks are forced to fly frequently and can’t always charter a flight. The effort to obtain airport scans of these public figures (pun intended) will be monumental.
Although most people will argue the subject for eons, one enterprising company has plans on making a profit from the dilemma by starting a new airline to relieve tensions on both sides. I.B. Noughtreal, company spokesperson for the start up airline, stated the airline planned on circumventing the TSA process by making the process unnecessary. Through implementing special security features into every flight, thus eliminating the need for the TSA ‘peek and grope’ process, the airline hopes to get an exclusion from the TSA requirement. Noughtreal said they planned on filing for an exception to the process by the end of the fourth quarter of this year. Noughtreal stated the company is now filing the needed federal documents and developing an aggressive ad campaign to build interest in the new airline. In another ‘scoop’ for our newsletter, we have obtained a sample of the marketing for the new airline.
Mayhem Airlines
'We don’t need to see your naked ass to take it for a ride'
Welcome to Mayhem Airlines where we don’t want
to see you naked! With our unique combination
of security and flight features, we provide an
enjoyable trouble free flight to worldwide locations.
On Mayhem, every passenger over the age of 18 is issued their very own stun gun to ensure their personal safety. There’s no chance of a man with a bic lighter interrupting your flight at Mayhem. Have children? Ask about our realistic looking toy stun guns. That’s right, on Mayhem, every man, women, child, and member of the flight staff carry their own personal weapon.
Other great flight features are
Free Caffeine Laced Alcohol Drinks
First Aid Trained Flight Crew
First Aid Trained Flight CrewAble to Upgrade to Small Arms* All the Five Hour Energy Drinks You Can Drink
All the Five Hour Energy Drinks You Can DrinkCool Looking Planes Free Violent Video Games & Action Movies
Free Violent Video Games & Action Movies Remember, You’ll Get There With Mayhem
*Five minute safety video required to upgrade to small arms.
-The Boozeman
This is priceless!
My friend Larry and his wife were visiting Lake City, Florida and stopped at the below restaurant for lunch. What's even better is he said the two young ladies working in the restaurant had no idea why they were selling so many tee shirts!
Thanks Larry!
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
You can behave how you like no matter where you are on Fathers Day. Here in Florida, when we celebrate shooting sperm, we celebrate shooting sperm!
It's Gizmo Joe Month! I'll drink to that!
"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not." - Thomas Jefferson
Come on, you know you've been there.
Remember, 'immature' is what boring people with low self esteem call fun people.
I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. Well, I have done something about it: a couple of nights ago I was out for a few drinks with some pals and had a few too many whiskeys as well as beers and some rather nice claret; but knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home. I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before and have no idea where I got this one.
Thanks to Debbie for her wisdom!
See the Boozeman's new Review of The Flagler Beach Motel and Vacation Rentals on the reviews page!
Hint:
The
place don't
SUCK!
It's good to be a safe citizen. Thanks Wes!
Some people have patios and lawns. Some of us have yards and porches. I'll take the yard and porch crowd.
The Prince Hotel April Visit
What do you do when you have a million dollars you don't know what to do with? You renovate a 170 year old hotel and throw a great restaurant and bar in. Yep, that's the Prince Hotel in Tunkhannock PA. Small but good bar, freaking awesome wings, really good pizza, and the restaurant has really good food. We had the chicken parm and it was one of the better I have had.
Little town and a good time. The hotel was great to stay in and the staff is ultra attentive. Great place to call home base for that small town vacation I like to have now and then. - The Boozeman
Booze Life friend Shaun is getting ready to drink Daniel Boone and company under the table! What do you bet Shaun ends up banging Calamity Jane.
Having a good 'natural' breakfast will start your day right!
Behold my beer drawer. As God as my witness the Bud Light isn't mine. No offense A-B
From the book 'Leonard and the Coronavirus'. Psst...buy the black & white version. It is a lot cheaper.
For my wish, I asked the hot Genie lady for a little head. This is how it worked out.
If this doesn't make you fuckable, nothing will.
My buddy AJ found this cool car and sent the picture. He even dug up the original owner as a bonus!
The Boozeman's Budgeting Advice Straight from The Heart
It’s no secret today’s economy is a challenge for many of us. We all face the same task of doing more with less. In dealing with the new economy, I had to think of ways to tighten my belt with the goal of not chipping away at the things that are important. After creating a list of strategic belt-tightening measures, I decided to share some of them with you.
-Personal computers when turned on use about as much electricity as our refrigerators; that’s a lot of extra electricity use. Much of the computer on time is mindless web surfing for hours, for which I recommend using your work computer at the office. The work computer is already on, and there will be no extra electricity used! This simple practice will save you money and free up more time at home to have a couple of cold beers. You can be thrifty and “green” at the same time!
-Only eat every other day. It’s a proven fact that Americans consume too much food. The habit is expensive and is making us overweight. Many of us try to cut back only to fall back into the same trap of overeating. By only eating every other day using even numbered days as “food days” and odd numbered days as “no food days” it will be much easier to track your diet and save money! Of course, being healthy will be at the forefront of the practice, on the “no food days” you must continue to drink liquids. I recommend full-bodied beers and high calorie mixed drinks. (Note: Cherries, olives, orange pieces, and other garnishes do not count as food.)
-Instruct your family to only use the bathroom at work and school. Impress upon them your home bathrooms are only for use by guests. This small adjustment will save you a fortune in toilet paper and water usage charges.
-The huge flatscreen TV in your living room is not only expensive to buy, but it’s also expensive to run as well. The electricity needs of plasma, LCD, and LED televisions add to your electricity bill each month. Consider a plasma TV also has a lifespan of around 10,000 hours before it turns into one more piece of hazardous waste for the landfill. Use the plasma sparingly for only important TV watching such as college and NFL football. During the time you would normally watch unimportant TV, try sitting around a small fire drinking beer on your back patio with your loved ones. You will save money, the environment, and the extra family time will do you good.
-It’s a well-known fact a full refrigerator runs much more efficiently than an empty refrigerator. Since the refrigerator operates on the premise of cooling the air around the items inside and not cooling the items, the fewer items in the refrigerator, the more air, there is to cool. Don’t make your poor refrigerator struggle to cool too much air. By filling your refrigerator with beer, wine, and spirits, you will make your refrigerator a happier and more efficient household tool.
-Being outgoing, friendly, and helpful to your neighbors can save you money! Just let the people on your street know you are fun to be around, and it won’t be long before you’re invited over for drinks and cookouts. Just stop at the market and buy a bottle of wine (on sale for $4) as a token gift for the invite, and you can consume $20 of neighbor liquor and food up to three times a week, and they will thank you for it! You’ll save $16 by having a good time! (Saving depends on how much you can eat and drink and the quality of the booze.)
-Start drinking early in the day on weekends. By noon all those home improvement ideas you had in your head when you woke up will be long gone. Think of the huge amount of money you will save on paint, lumber, yard tools, and new blinds. Home Depot won’t miss you, and you will save a buck!
You’re welcome.
The Boozeman
Helpful hints shamelessly stolen from the book 'BIZNANIGANS'
Last Month's Beer of the Month!
This is a very good 6% ABV porter from Einstok. I picked up a six pack of Icelandic Toasted Porter at ABC Liquors in Jacksonville and was delighted.
If you like wimpy beers, this one isn't for you. It is robust, rich, pitch black porter with plenty of coffee and chocolate highlights in the taste. It is surprisingly smooth medium body porter and big on flavor. I had three over the course of a couple of hours and that was my limit. Anything after that would have diminished my enjoyment of the strong taste.
If you plan on pairing this beer with food, you better make the food robust in flavor itself. Any food with a delicate taste would be run over and crushed by the strong presence of Icelandic Toasted Porter.
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Pandemic Bourbon by Four Fathers Distillery, Jacksonville, FL.
This work of art is guaranteed to get rid of almost all of Covid germs from your palate and 99.9 % of your inhibitions!
The Boozeman will be testing this claim personally on New Years Eve. Maybe sooner.. well, maybe tonight. I happen to have some spare ice.
