Public believes TSA regulations could bare improvement
During one of the busiest travel weeks of the year if you want to see a crowd of people, outside of a nudist colony, in the United States go nuts, just tell them they have to get naked in front of a camera. While citizens of many other countries are less critical of themselves and nudity; by nature Americans are a little funny about strutting their stuff in front of strangers.
The ‘Plan B’ to having your prize possessions scanned by a very revealing airport scanner, is to go to ‘second base’ with a TSA worker. In the event you’re not comfortable having a nude negative image of your, or children’s, naked body flashed on a screen in the airport, the TSA somehow feels you’ll be more comfortable having a stranger run their hands up and down you and your junk like it was your wedding night after a long celibate courtship.
That’s the problem the TSA is dealing with now that the new security procedure at many of America’s airports has started. Most Americans can sympathize with the TSA’s burden of keeping air travel safe, but fall short of supporting the TSA’s solution. Another issue over the horizon is the suspicion the scanners can save, or even send, images of scans from the security process. Granted, there are not many people in this world who want to see me naked. Well, okay there’s really none. But that can’t be said for the endless list of celebrities and political figures that Americans strive to know every detail of. These folks are forced to fly frequently and can’t always charter a flight. The effort to obtain airport scans of these public figures (pun intended) will be monumental.
Although most people will argue the subject for eons, one enterprising company has plans on making a profit from the dilemma by starting a new airline to relieve tensions on both sides. I.B. Noughtreal, company spokesperson for the start up airline, stated the airline planned on circumventing the TSA process by making the process unnecessary. Through implementing special security features into every flight, thus eliminating the need for the TSA ‘peek and grope’ process, the airline hopes to get an exclusion from the TSA requirement. Noughtreal said they planned on filing for an exception to the process by the end of the fourth quarter of this year. Noughtreal stated the company is now filing the needed federal documents and developing an aggressive ad campaign to build interest in the new airline. In another ‘scoop’ for our newsletter, we have obtained a sample of the marketing for the new airline.
'We don’t need to see your naked ass to take it for a ride'
Welcome to Mayhem Airlines where we don’t want
to see you naked! With our unique combination
of security and flight features, we provide an
enjoyable trouble free flight to worldwide locations.
On Mayhem, every passenger over the age of 18 is issued their very own stun gun to ensure their personal safety. There’s no chance of a man with a bic lighter interrupting your flight at Mayhem. Have children? Ask about our realistic looking toy stun guns. That’s right, on Mayhem, every man, women, child, and member of the flight staff carry their own personal weapon.
Other great flight features are
Free Caffeine Laced Alcohol DrinksFirst Aid Trained Flight Crew Able to Upgrade to Small Arms* All the Five Hour Energy Drinks You Can Drink Cool Looking Planes Free Violent Video Games & Action Movies
Remember, You’ll Get There With Mayhem
*Five minute safety video required to upgrade to small arms.